Oh, please. Don’t ask me how I’ve been. I have no words. And if I ever did, I wouldn’t even know how to begin… At some point, I thought, how tf am I supposed to have ‘fun’ at the #paramoretourfourmnl now? I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally too exhausted to go out and have ‘fun’.
But then I remember all the times in my life Paramore’s music has always been there for me.
When I was 18 and crazy/stupid in love, screaming “this heart it beats, beats for only you!” in my room at the top of my lungs.
When I was immature and thought once you’re a whore, you’re nothing more. Lol.
When I was mad at people playing God but I just let ‘em spill their guts cuz one day they’re gonna slip on ‘em.
When I was too sad, I slept till May and didn’t wanna see the sun anymore.
When I ran every morning at a cemetery, choking everytime the song gets to: it’s just a spark but it’s enough to keep me going. And ‘keep going’ was what I did…until I was finally on my own in the real world.
I basically came of age, grew up, and survived a shitton of hard times with this band and their music. Listening to After Laughter for the first time was like seeing an old friend again and catching up and finding out we’ve gone through the same shit and felt the same things and are currently asking the same question: HOW ARE WE STILL ALIVE? 😹 Then we’d laugh till we cry.
So I was too tired and stressed to go see the show but I went anyway because I needed it. My soul needed it. I didn’t need to be all smiles and shit. I just had to be there. To hear them, to sing with them, to dance and jump and scream and remember whatever each song reminds me of and just feel it all over again. I know I’m not the only one. I know there’s a lot of us, misguided ghosts, in there last night. You don’t have to be fake happy. It’s okay if you wanna cry a little bit longer. ❤🙃